Life's Rough. Get a Helmet.

It's been a really long time since I've referenced "Boy Meets World" but I felt that a quote from the show (although I'm not sure it's the original source) made the perfect title for this post.  Like many people, I have moments where I just have to whine about my job.  Yesterday, talking to my friend Amy, I was complaining about how sometimes it's just really hard to be a teacher.  The hardest part for me is definitely dealing with difficult behaviors.  And it really frustrates me when I see parents who don't think it's their job to discipline their kids or teach their kids about good manners.

This led us into a discussion about how so many parents can't stand to see their children uncomfortable, or sad, or frustrated in any way.  Amy brought up a very good point about how we live in a "feel good" culture.  We think we are always supposed to be happy, or at least be happy most of the time.  We can't stand sadness.  When we feel sad, we think something is wrong with us.  So rather than dealing with our emotions, many people start to think antidepressants (or worse) are the answer.  To paraphrase Amy:  Sadness is not necessarily depression.

It hurts to see people we care about hurting, so it's understandable that we try to push them out of their sadness as soon as possible.  But sometimes sadness needs to be acknowledged and validated.  I hate that I only have a couple of people that I can talk to about my sadness because I know that they can handle being there and listening...but being there is the most important part.  When I feel sad, the worst thing that people can do is tell me to move on, it will all be fine.  I know that.  I think most people do know that most things turn out being okay.  But in the meantime, I think it's important to let people feel however they need to feel at any given moment, even if it is sadness, or anger, or frustration.

It's the same with kids.  I think people need to find ways to be okay with their kids having to go through difficult situations.  They need to listen to their kids when they are hurting, but they also can't block their kids from ever dealing with painful situations.  Life is hard, and it only gets worse as you grow up.  This shouldn't be some big secret that we let them find out as they age.  Rather than "teaching" kids that when they feel sad their parents will magically take the pain away (with candy or a toy or yelling at their teacher), I wish parents could teach their kids coping skills for when life is rough.

I wish I had better coping skills.  It would have been so much easier to learn them as a little kid than it is to figure it out now.

What Makes Me Smile

A short time ago, I found a good blogging idea on my friend Jenny's blog. Her idea was to write a list of the different things that make her smile. I think it's a positive thing to reflect on what makes you happy, especially when your life has slid into a rut. So here is my list of things that always make me smile:

Seeing the ocean

Puppies (or baby animals in general)

Lazy days spent at a park

Hiking

Listening to live music

Stargazing (I don't really mean of the movie-star variety)

Wave running at Bear Lake

Getting flowers

The Dine-o-Round Blog

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Lindsay had a brilliant idea to start a blog specifically for a monthly tradition we have with our friend Libby.

Check it out!

He's an Angry Elf--Favorite Christmas Movies

This time of year, it's always fun to pull out the Christmas movies to help set the mood for the holidays. Since Christmas always seems to sneak up on me, I only get the chance to watch a few every year, but those few are always the same year after year. They are my essential Christmas/holiday movies. Of course, there are a couple of classics that aren't on my list because I've never seen them (I'm talking about you, A Christmas Story). Maybe next year I'll branch out and make room for a few I've never seen to add to this list. The top 5 movies that have a special place in my heart as favorite movies are:

5. A Muppet Christmas Carol--my favorite version of the Christmas Carol story. The muppets are hilarious. The musical numbers are catchy. Michael Caine is Scrooge. What more is there to say?

4. The Grinch--Both the classic cartoon and the one with Jim Carrey. Dr. Seuss is a genius and I always get a little teary-eyed at the Grinch's realization that "Christmas doesn't come from a store."

3. Christmas Vacation--It's really, really not Christmas until I've watched this AT LEAST once.

2. Elf--Will Ferrell, Ed Asner, and James Caan are cast perfectly. Elf is funny and has a super cute Christmas message. In fact, I'm watching it right now.

1. The Santa Clause--My family still watches this every year on Christmas Eve before we go to bed. It reminds me that Christmas doesn't just have to be a magical and powerful experience for kids. It can be that for everyone.

Staying Sane in the Snow

I kind of hate winter. I'm not a fan of extreme cold and I strongly believe that snow should stay in the mountains where it belongs. When it's cold and dreary, like it is this time of year, all I want to do is hibernate until spring. But the worst part about winter is that it takes a huge toll on my mood. I start to snap out of it some time around February, but I hate how grumpy and down I feel in the meantime.

This year, I have resolved to not give in to the wintertime blues.

I've decided the best way to fight my slight tendency toward SAD (as people in the psychological field call it), is to distract myself. I'm developing a list of goals or projects to work toward until spring comes and I start to feel normal again. This is what I have so far:

First, I really, really want to start a book club. I know for a fact that I have two friends that would definitely be interested in this. I've been told by one of them that I need to be the head organizer in order for it to happen. So, I've decided to take it upon myself to start this thing up after Christmas time.

Second, despite some initial reservations, I've decided to defend my title in Andy's next Ten Dollar Shorts Short Film Contest. That's right, for those of you that don't know, I am a short film contest grand prize winner. The idea that I have rolling around in my head isn't nearly as inspired as the film I submitted for the last contest. But I'm too competitive to not try to win a second time.

Finally, I'm working on a little project titled "Get the Hell Out of Utah." (Amy loves this one.) I don't really know where I'm going or what I'll do when I get there, but I plan on having those details worked out in the next few months. My parents are working on a similar project, which may or may not influence the outcome of mine.

Anyway, I feel very confident that these things will help me survive Utah-winter-yuckiness for the next couple of months. Any additional suggestions to aide me in this endeavor are greatly appreciated.

Fighting Boredom

When I was much younger, I had many activities that I enjoyed doing during those moments when I was all by myself and didn't have anyone to interact with. I would read for hours. Or I would write plays and draw pictures of fancy dresses in this notebook I had. T.V. was another source of endless entertainment. I'm pretty sure I could spend all day watching the shows on Nickelodeon.

Now that I'm older, I have a much harder time keeping myself entertained. I never know what books to read, I'm no longer interested in a career in the entertainment industry, and T.V. during the day feels like a waste of time. I'm pretty busy with my job, so I don't usually have to find ways to occupy spare time.

However, when a long weekend comes along (not exactly a rarity when you're a teacher), I have NO idea what to do with myself. I feel like I spend my days off wandering aimlessly around. I'm glad to have an extra day in my weekend, but depressed that I don't know how to fill the time. Heaven forbid I spend it on anything work related.

I've been trying to think of things I used to do to when I had spare time to myself to keep me from feeling isolated and down. Today I decided to cook. I found a recipe from Epicurious, went to the grocery store to buy ingredients, and poured myself a glass of wine (makes me feel much classier than I actually am). Then I got to work cooking dinner for my family.

This was one of the best ideas I've had in a long time. Having something to focus on kept my mind from slipping into the ever-present problem I have of "thinking too much." In addition, making dinner gave some purpose to my day, which always makes me feel so much better. Plus, the meal was actually kind of good and something that I would like to make in the future, with some tweaking to the recipe. Even if the meal had been a failure, I'm pretty sure the experience of trying something new would have been enough to keep my spirits up on an otherwise mundane day.

Best of Winter

It's been a long time, so I decided to find something to blog about and I find that list blogs are the easiest way to go when I'm in a writing rut. Although I don't believe in celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving (the underappreciated holiday), there are a few Christmas references in this list.

Without further ado, my list of winter favorites:

Hot chocolate with marshmallows
Cozy fireplaces
Hats, mittens, and scarves
Ice skating
Holiday parties
Sledding
Christmas craft projects...that I always talk about doing but never actually do
Seeing long lost friends and family
Glittering holiday lights
Christmas movies (especially "Christmas Vacation")
Christmas music (especially the NSYNC Christmas album)
Looooong holiday breaks