Somebody Save Me

Why is it that the activities that are so fun when I am procrastinating are so boring when I have nothing to do? I know I've discussed this problem before, but I just don't know what to do with myself when I'm done with school. It's like school took over every aspect of my life, and now that it's done I feel so empty. It's sort of a like a break up. A painless, joyful breakup, but a breakup nonetheless. I feel like I have to start from scratch and rebuild my life. I need to find hobbies again and remember how to enjoy life the way I did before school and I became involved. Ugh. Somebody give me something to do!

Things That Bug Me

Maybe it's because I'm really grumpy today but I am highly annoyed by the lack of library etiquette on college campuses today. I first noticed this problem while I was getting my undergraduate degree in Washington. I would go to the library to do some intense reading, since I was too easily distracted by the people and technology around me at home, and I frequently found my studies disturbed by people answering their cell phones and having conversations...IN THE LIBRARY! The same thing happened today while I was in the computer lab in the library attempting to work on my e-portfolio. I was highly aggravated anyway because it took about 20 minutes for the computer to let me onto the program I needed. But in the midst of my frustration, a young man decided to answer his phone and have an 8 minute talk with whoever. Like, did he not notice the people working around him? Was he oblivious to the signs that say: If your phone goes off in the computer lab you'll be asked to leave? Clearly it didn't matter anyway because nobody in the lab did anything. I wanted to give him a dirty look but was afraid that would reinforce this behavior. I don't go to the library to socialize. I go to focus and do work. I wish other people felt the same way.

The other thing I'm annoyed about also concerns cell phones. I am sick of text messaging. I mean, yeah, there are certain situations where texting probably makes more sense than calling someone. But when people try to have entire conversations with me through text messages, it bugs me. Oftentimes, there is no immediate feedback and I'm left to wonder if the person received my message or if I unintentionally said something offensive or if they're showing my messages to friends. If someone has more than two things to say to me, I would really just prefer or a phone call or a visit.

Dusting Off the Ol' Runners

Today I experienced a sort of "running break through." In an effort to get into shape for a couple of 5K's in May, I have re-taken up running, which has been much harder to do than I expected. About a year ago I got really into running as part of a self-therapy strategy to deal with life's woes. I ran most days of the week, built up my endurance, and finished a 5K. This all made me feel pretty awesome about myself. For the first time in my life, I wanted to exercise...I HAD to exercise. It gave me something to look forward to everyday.

Then, I went back to school.

Fitness enthusiasts would shudder at my excuse of being too busy to run. But I really was. In addition to being a full time student, I was working 7 hours a day. That comes out to about 13 hours of work and school time a day. Add homework and sleep on top of that and...well, you do the math. Little time is left over for anything. Of course, by the time I switched to a part time work schedule, I had lost all motivation to move in any way. School became both my source of therapy and stress. Sounds weird. But as crazy as I felt during my hectic 19 credit hour schedule in the fall, it felt good to be in school and working toward a goal.

Now that I'm mostly done with school, I have no more excuses to not try to get into shape. Signing up for my races has given me more motivation. However, until today, I have to admit I was feeling very discouraged with the process of getting ready. Although I had only been running for a few days, I was shocked at how much endurance I had lost in a year. And my progress had been very slow.

The key, I realized today, is pacing. I felt like a caterpillar as I slowly made my way around the track, but I ran much much much further than I had been able to run even 3 days ago. Remembering what it feels like to run at a reasonable pace I hope will help build up my momentum and keep me going with the whole running thing. As awkward as it feels to run in slo-mo, the tortoise in that one fable was really on to something. "Slow and steady wins the race." Or at least finishes it without going into cardiac arrest.