29 August 2008

And the after...

The view from the doorway...

The miniature desks that I keep running into, causing me to have unusual bruises all over my legs.

Esp. for Linds. It's my read aloud area!!!

In all, the first week was sooo awesomely intense. After I left school the first day, it took all of my energy to stop myself from sobbing hysterically. I don't know why. It was just that stressful. On the plus side, I have aquired about 20 student-made portraits of me and been told that I'm "the best second grade teacher" (direct quote) and had a successful sharing circle. Whew!

11 August 2008

My Canvas

Suggestions are greatly appreciated.

03 August 2008

And it begins...

I am officially freaking out about beginning my teaching career at the end of this month. I knew that I would start having physical symptoms over my nervousness, but I was convinced that I had at least two more weeks before they would appear. I was wrong.

Last night, I dreamt that I was in Saudi Arabia being chased by terrorists. Now, I have my own personal issues with paranoia (I've been called a hypochondriac on a number of occasions), but this doesn't extend into the realm of terrorism. So, I'm thinking that my dream is symbolic for my teaching-related fears. The classroom is my desert; the students are my personal terrorists. Call me crazy, but I don't think this is the best outlook to have as I prepare to start teaching.

The other symptom that I experienced is waking up feeling nauseated and full of dread...at 6:00 AM. A good 3 hours before I should reasonably be expected to wake up on a Sunday morning.

It seemed quite strange to me how suddenly and unexpectedly my fear hit me. Until 8 hours ago I had done a pretty decent job of repressing the knowledge that I was going to start teaching. But then I thought about the past 24 hours and realized that my symptoms were caused by a variety of triggers:

1. Yesterday I changed my calendar from July to August and decided to count the weeks I had left until the first day of school, just for the hell of it. I discovered there are 3 weeks to go.

2. I received a letter in the mail welcoming the teachers to a new school year. In this letter the school administrators had enclosed a detailed schedule of the professional development trainings the teachers will be attending the week before school starts.

3. Last night, a few friends came over to dinner. One of these friends is a fellow new educator who will be teaching at the college level starting in September. He has the first assignment already planned out for one of his classes...and probably the whole semester. Meanwhile, I haven't even began to set up my classroom, much less plan my curriculum. I want to cry.

My biggest fear: That this freak out phase will only get worse over the next 3 weeks.