Ugh

I hate New Year's Eve. It is by far my least favorite holiday of all the holidays. If I could pick (which I guess I really can), I would spend all day tomorrow in my pajamas, under my covers, until the day had passed. You might be asking yourself, "Why, oh why, does Melissa loathe New Year's Eve so very much?" The reason is that it is consistently a let down for me. In fact, some of my worst days happened on New Year's Eve. But I don't need to go into detail about any of that trauma, except to say that 12/31/06 is a day that will live in infamy in my heart. It was so bad that I spent the entire day of 1/1/07 in bed crying. I should have known then that 2007 would be one of the most hellacious experiences of my life....

Well, since there's no avoiding it, I guess there is only one thing to do, besides hiding under the bed. I'm just going to live in denial. Pretend like it isn't even New Year's. In fact, I don't think I'll even shower tomorrow. And I will NOT drink champagne. Nobody better hand me a noise maker because I will crush it with my bare hands.

Happy freaking New Year's.

I'm not sure where this is coming from

Maybe it's because it's the end of the year. Maybe it's because I've had a couple of days off of work and way too much time on my hands. I just feel very introspective lately.

Today I pulled out my box of journals because I wanted to remember what I used to be like. I have a really good memory and rarely forget anything that has happened to me. But I have a harder time remembering how I felt and my reactions to different events, probably because my feelings about all of them have evolved as I've experienced new things.

Over the past few months I have often been struck by how I can hardly relate to the person I was a year ago. I was so sad and so fragile. I was moved by everything. A very artistic part of myself that I had never known before began to emerge. It was like I had to find beauty in everything in order to survive.

As I read a part of one of my old journals tonight, I found it harder to understand the person that I had been two and three years ago. Everything annoyed me. I was constantly mad at my parents or friends or schoolwork. Things that I should have been grateful to have were a burden. What was wrong with me?

It makes me sad that I spent so much time being bored and bothered. As hard as it is to remember how sad I was a year ago, I'm happy for what the experience of loss gave me. I'm so much more honest with myself and others than I used to be. And I'm not afraid of leaving things and people behind in order to move forward. And, most importantly, the artist and moody teenager inside me are gone. I feel so much more like myself than I have in a really long time.

Ahhhhh...holidays...

So, after spending several hours partying it up with the whole extended family, I am very much enjoying laying around in my stretchy pants and sipping hot chocolate. I also love listening to the rain falling on our roof. Snow is overrated. I'd much rather have my Christmas be wet than white.

Anyway, here are the promised images of my crazy neighbors, for anyone that cares.

They sure love blow up decorations.

Also, I don't think anything says "Merry Christmas" quite like a festive-ized elk carcass. (Rudolph's cousin, perhaps?) I found this gem at my cousin's house during Christmas Eve dinner. He takes pride in his hunting skills.

Merry Christmas!

I Have a Problem

It has recently come to my attention that I may have a bit of a wrapping paper fetish. Whenever I buy a gift for someone, I must by color coordinated wrapping paper and tissue paper to go along with it. Never mind the fact that I already have 3 rolls of wrapping paper and probably 5 packages of tissue paper sitting under my bed. I also have issues with buying cards. If I see a card at the store that strikes a certain chord, I have to buy it. So now, in addition to the ever growing pile of gift wrap, tissue paper, and wrapping accessories (you know, bows, tags, that sort of thing), I also have a drawer full of cards that I have never used and will probably never use. I really think I need help.

I would like to take this time to also announce that I live 2 doors down from the Griswold's. Pictures to follow.

The Source of My Anxiety

A few weeks ago I realized that there are three things that cause me to become highly irritable. As of late, these three things have seemed to constantly converge to make me continuously grumpy. In case you are wondering what my problem is, here is a list of the most likely causes of my ill temper:

1. High levels of stress
2. Threat of no or little sleep
3. Unfulfilled desire for food

If you want to help ease my emotional discomfort, then feel free to gift me with a massage, sleeping pills, and chocolate chip cookies.

I Just Have To

All right. I'm starting to get ridiculously excited about the concert I'm going to see tonight. My two musical dreams that I have to realize in my lifetime are to see U2 in concert and Coldplay in concert. U2 continues to elude me. Apparently they are kind of a big deal. But tonight (mwahaha) I will be singing very loudly along to Chris Martin's hauntingly melodic voice as it fills the Delta Center (I don't believe in calling it the Energy Solutions arena) and it will be awesome. A musical journey for the record books, if you will. So, in honor of this historic event in my life, I have decided to write my top ten list of favorite Coldplay songs.

10. Viva La Vida

9. Lost

8. The Hardest Part

7. Trouble

6. Swallowed in the Sea

5. Amsterdam

4. Til Kingdom Come

3. Speed of Sound

2. The Scientist (for me, the song that started it all)

1. A Warning Sign

Wow. What a hard list to put together. I have a hard time finding a song that I don't love on some level. Anyway, there you have it. And if you don't understand my burning desire for Coldplay, that's okay. I'll tell you what I told my brother, you're just lacking the emotional depth required to appreciate them. Nothing wrong with that.

Is it just me...

...or are people decorating for Christmas really, really early this year?

P.S. I get to see Coldplay in 4 days. Hell, yeah.