January Blahs

I don't really like January all that much. It's cold, gray, depressing, long. The Christmas high has worn off. You can see and taste the air, at least you can in SLC. It just isn't a great month. This time of year I start begging my family to plan a trip to southern Utah so that I can spend a few days in the sunshine. Luckily for me, they usually go for it, which isn't usually the case with a lot of my schemes.



Anyway, today was fun. I went with my parents up to Park City to attempt to stargaze at the Sundance Film Festival. I'm always really embarrassed to be up there with them around film fest time because they have a tendency to loudly argue about the best methods to find celebrities. I also start to feel a little territorial when we go up for it. Park City is my favorite place in Utah. I often think that if I stay in Utah for the rest of my life that it will be okay as long as I have a home and job in Park City. It makes me upset to see tons of press and other starstruck Utahns, such as myself, clog up Main Street.



All right. I am getting away from where this post was intended to go, if it even had a destination in the first place. Our day in Park City was quite successful. My parents sighted Peter Gallagher, of The OC fame. We joined a mob of people surrounding Elijah Wood, aka Frodo, as he conversed with one of his people. And my mom got a picture with Pierce Brosnin. I may never hear the end of that one. There were also rumors of Ashton Kutcher being in the vicinity. Alas, we could not find him. But Linds and Andy apparently saw Ashty after viewing his film. I look forward to hearing their story of this sometime in the future.

Ramblings

I'm really dreading returning to work on Monday. I've become quite accustomed to living life without my alarm clock and will probably feel devastated when it goes off Monday morning. Sure, I've been bored a great deal since my Christmas break began. But I sure will miss the little things, like non-sack lunches, staying up past midnight, and checking my facebook account 43 times a day.

On the other hand, not working has led me to spend massive quantities of money that I shouldn't be spending if I want to move out and go on my two-week long vacation this summer. I'm also pretty..."out of it" a lot of the time. Too little mental stimulation makes me weird.

I also decided just this morning that I am going to go on a 90% meat free diet, except for fish products. Yes, I said "products." I think I was semi-inspired by my friends' sugar-free New Year's resolution. I don't really have a sugar problem. But I've considered vegetarianism for years now. And I kind of want to see what life is like mostly meat free. Now, I haven't quite figured out what 90% means yet. It could mean that for every 10 calories I consume, only 1 of those calories can come from meat foods. It might also mean that out of 10 meals, only one can have meat. Hm. Maybe I'll just say that once a week I can indulge in a burger or steak. Otherwise, it's meatless for me.

Finally, I have discovered a great scam that is going on in the spa industry. Well, I didn't really discover it. But I had forgotten about it until this morning. My parents gave me a spa gift certificate for Christmas, and today I happily used it. However, I think it is very cunning of spa personnel to make you all relaxed and feeling good about life and then ask you to buy their far-too-expensive products. Can anybody really say "no" when their brain is set to zen mode?

Ugh

I hate New Year's Eve. It is by far my least favorite holiday of all the holidays. If I could pick (which I guess I really can), I would spend all day tomorrow in my pajamas, under my covers, until the day had passed. You might be asking yourself, "Why, oh why, does Melissa loathe New Year's Eve so very much?" The reason is that it is consistently a let down for me. In fact, some of my worst days happened on New Year's Eve. But I don't need to go into detail about any of that trauma, except to say that 12/31/06 is a day that will live in infamy in my heart. It was so bad that I spent the entire day of 1/1/07 in bed crying. I should have known then that 2007 would be one of the most hellacious experiences of my life....

Well, since there's no avoiding it, I guess there is only one thing to do, besides hiding under the bed. I'm just going to live in denial. Pretend like it isn't even New Year's. In fact, I don't think I'll even shower tomorrow. And I will NOT drink champagne. Nobody better hand me a noise maker because I will crush it with my bare hands.

Happy freaking New Year's.

I'm not sure where this is coming from

Maybe it's because it's the end of the year. Maybe it's because I've had a couple of days off of work and way too much time on my hands. I just feel very introspective lately.

Today I pulled out my box of journals because I wanted to remember what I used to be like. I have a really good memory and rarely forget anything that has happened to me. But I have a harder time remembering how I felt and my reactions to different events, probably because my feelings about all of them have evolved as I've experienced new things.

Over the past few months I have often been struck by how I can hardly relate to the person I was a year ago. I was so sad and so fragile. I was moved by everything. A very artistic part of myself that I had never known before began to emerge. It was like I had to find beauty in everything in order to survive.

As I read a part of one of my old journals tonight, I found it harder to understand the person that I had been two and three years ago. Everything annoyed me. I was constantly mad at my parents or friends or schoolwork. Things that I should have been grateful to have were a burden. What was wrong with me?

It makes me sad that I spent so much time being bored and bothered. As hard as it is to remember how sad I was a year ago, I'm happy for what the experience of loss gave me. I'm so much more honest with myself and others than I used to be. And I'm not afraid of leaving things and people behind in order to move forward. And, most importantly, the artist and moody teenager inside me are gone. I feel so much more like myself than I have in a really long time.

Ahhhhh...holidays...

So, after spending several hours partying it up with the whole extended family, I am very much enjoying laying around in my stretchy pants and sipping hot chocolate. I also love listening to the rain falling on our roof. Snow is overrated. I'd much rather have my Christmas be wet than white.

Anyway, here are the promised images of my crazy neighbors, for anyone that cares.

They sure love blow up decorations.

Also, I don't think anything says "Merry Christmas" quite like a festive-ized elk carcass. (Rudolph's cousin, perhaps?) I found this gem at my cousin's house during Christmas Eve dinner. He takes pride in his hunting skills.

Merry Christmas!

I Have a Problem

It has recently come to my attention that I may have a bit of a wrapping paper fetish. Whenever I buy a gift for someone, I must by color coordinated wrapping paper and tissue paper to go along with it. Never mind the fact that I already have 3 rolls of wrapping paper and probably 5 packages of tissue paper sitting under my bed. I also have issues with buying cards. If I see a card at the store that strikes a certain chord, I have to buy it. So now, in addition to the ever growing pile of gift wrap, tissue paper, and wrapping accessories (you know, bows, tags, that sort of thing), I also have a drawer full of cards that I have never used and will probably never use. I really think I need help.

I would like to take this time to also announce that I live 2 doors down from the Griswold's. Pictures to follow.

The Source of My Anxiety

A few weeks ago I realized that there are three things that cause me to become highly irritable. As of late, these three things have seemed to constantly converge to make me continuously grumpy. In case you are wondering what my problem is, here is a list of the most likely causes of my ill temper:

1. High levels of stress
2. Threat of no or little sleep
3. Unfulfilled desire for food

If you want to help ease my emotional discomfort, then feel free to gift me with a massage, sleeping pills, and chocolate chip cookies.